based on guide to crime fighting for the totally unqualified
by shawn spencer and bruton gaster

the spectacular psychic sleuth

featuring appearances from gus

SHAWN . IN . HIS . OWN . WORDS:

i'm just one man and i've solved more .. crimes . than .. i . can .. count!

because i've solved a lot of crimes,

not . because .i .can't
count . ... very ....high

rules.

hey there! i’m zanza, i’m 28 years old, autistic + otherwise disabled. during fall and spring i’m a full time college student, but during the summer and slower periods with school i’ll be more active.the most important rule is that I’m here for myself. i come first - i really just want to have a good time.this blog is 18+ only for my own comfort, i would prefer not to be following minors or have minors following me. it’s an absolute no go if you don’t have your age listed clearly somewhere on your blog.no godmodding, no rule!63 or otherwise transphobic muses, no disability erasure, no erasure of sexuality, etc. will be tolerated on this blog.i promise i'm really far more relaxed than these rules make me seem, i've just been here a really long time and have a low tolerance for bullshit.

as i said, i have autistm, adhd, i'm disabled, and a full-time college student. i also run multiple blogs. activity can be slow, and i do tend to hyperfocus on threads and plots so some people may get priority with responses depending on how close we are and how invested i am in the dynamics being explored. below are a list of rules that i’d really appreciate if you’d follow! i can tell when they’re not being read and it tends to be a real problem.my blogs are incredibly selective and private, meaning i will only interact with mutuals, and i’ll be very picky about who i follow. don’t take it personally if i don’t follow you, i just need to keep things fairly chill, and i only follow those i see myself writing with. i also won’t follow if you don’t cut your posts, consistently post things that are completely irrelevant to your blog, don’t have a rules page, and/or don’t tag your posts!i write in third-person, present tense. i typically don’t give a shit what formatting you use, i tend to just stick to what i do — but the only thing i can’t handle no matter what is text that’s heavy on ‘fancy fonts’, it’s too difficult for me to read and comprehend at the same time and is far too difficult to translate / format into something that’s easier for me to read.i unapologetically latch onto threads, memes, and plots with people who actively talk to me and who i’m closer with. i know that i don't annoy these people so it makes my life easier bc #trauma. if this is something you’re gonna be annoyed by in any form, you’re probably better off not following.i try to be friends with as many people as possible, and i’m easy to talk to, but mutual excitement over things is one of the keys to helping me write and i’m here to have fun anyway so i’m not ever gonna apologize for doing what’s fun and makes me happy!!

zanza .| .28 .| .mountain

( ..she . . /... . they ..)

est. . november . 2021

ships are chemistry based, shawn is bisexual.

other nsfw themes may be present on this blog, there will be, at times, triggering content on this blog. a lot of the fandoms i’m part of have some very dark aspects, and while there are some things i won’t go near (openly and explicitly written abuse, rape, pedophilia, incest, to name a few), i’m not against the idea of writing with ‘villain’ characters. if the fact that i’m gonna associate with people who write darker characters who might do awful things isn’t your thing? that’s okay! no need to follow! if you still do want to follow, i’ll be implementing a tag for all threads that i feel may contain less common or general triggers which will be the ‘POTENTIAL TRIGGER //’ tag, and it’s just gonna show up on top of anything i already know i need to tag, just to keep people as comfortable as possible!triggers may be present on this blog, and i’m be more than happy to tag anything i’m asked to! ( triggers will be tagged ‘trigger //’ or 'content cw' )

please tag SPIDERS, CLOWNS, AND EXCESSIVE GORE, thank you!!please tag all flashing gifs as i’m incredibly photosensitive when it comes to flashing lights (even something like lightning) and migraines are no fun. i track ‘zanza don’t look //’ and ‘flashing gif //’unless stated otherwise, all edits, icons, and graphics used on this blog belong to me, please do not use them without my permission.

as far as the banned fcs and muses, if you're a multimuse i won't interact with those muses or muses with the listed FCs. as noted below, billy hargrove is a hard exception to this rule.

banned fcs: . .. amber heard. . . dove cameron. . . scarjo. . . stephen amell. . . holland roden. . . colton haynes. . . chris pratt. . . henry cavill. . . lea michele. . . elizabeth olsen. . . rdj. .. the deceased. . . those who have asked to not be used as a fc.

muses i won't write with: . . .billy hargrove (stranger things - i won't write with you if you write him at all). . . negan (twd). . . the governor (twd). . . kilgrave (marvel). . . muses who are rapists or pedophiles. . . 13rw muses. . . nazi/hydra based muses. . . transphobic/rule!63 muses. . . real people.

• continue

hello, ladies and gentlemen. i will be your narrator. my name is aurora borealis...

THERE ARE OVER FOUR... HUNDRED STARS IN OUR GALAXY. ...MAYBE MORE. ..
NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE.

many have said that the universe is even larger than the indian ocean

that is why it is called:

INFINITUM STARIOCTOPUSIUM!

gus, don't be harry potter and the .. prisoner .. of .. marzipan!

it's . azkaban...

i've heard it both . . . . . ways.

job history.

FORMER OCCUPATIONS:
-lifeguard, 1994-1995
-desk clerk at hampton inn, 1995-1996
-construction of mardi gras parade floats, 1997-1998
-water ski instructor, 1998-1999
-constituent relations, el paso texas, 1999
-concessions vendor, turner field, july 9-12, 2000
-mystery shopper, 2000-2001
-concessions vendor, safeco field, july 8-12 2001
-driver, oscar mayer wiener mobile, 2001-2002
-christmas light hanger, 2002
-tour guide at graceland, 2002
-concessions vendor, miller park, july 8-11 2002
-event planner, 2003
-concessions vendor, cellular field, july 12-16 2003
-raft guide, costa rica, 2003-2004
-customer service for ben and jerry's, 2004
-concessions vendor, minute maid park, july 11-16, 2004
-foot and ankle model, 2005
-concessions vendor, comerica park, july 10-15, 2005
-english teacher, thailand, 2005
-assistant chair for yacht racing, newport beach, 2006
-ceo, founder psych, santa barbara, california, 2006-2014
-further, undisclosedCURRENT OCCUPATION:
-ceo, founder; psychphrancisco.

family.

FATHER... henry spencer. ...fc: corbin bernsen.
OCCUPATION... detective, retired; consultant advisor, retired; criminology professor.
STATUS. ..living.MOTHER. ..madeline spencer. ...fc: cybill shepherd.
OCCUPATION... police psychologist.
STATUS. ..living.UNCLE. ..jack spencer. ...fc: steven weber.
STATUS... living.WIFE. ..juliet o'hara. ...fc: maggie lawson.
OCCUPATION. ..head detective, san francisco police department...
STATUS. ..living.

ABOUT.

triggers that may apply:

basics.

NAME. .. shawn spencer.
BIRTHDATE. ..march 24th, 1977.
AGE... 43 / verse dependent.
PLACE OF BIRTH... santa barbara, california.
CURRENT LOCATION... san francisco, california / verse dependent.
PRONOUNS... he / they.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. ..bisexual / biromantic.
FACECLAIM. ..james roday rodriguez.
RACE / ETHNICITY... caucasian.
HEIGHT. ..5’9.
HAIR COLOR. ..brown.
EYE COLOR. ..blue.
SKIN COLOR. ..pale.
DOMINANT HAND. ..right.
TATTOOS. ..tbd.

ALSO KNOWN AS:
abe froman (sausage king of chicago). .
black..
butros gali.
code name: dabney wilhelm..
die hard. .
dry gulch slim. .
emilio estevez etht-eh-vez..
dr. hans jorgenson. .
hickory pot. .
dr. howser. .
ichabod fletchman. .
john jacob jingleheimer schmidt,.
juan priestley..
lakia the spacedog. .
levon tostig..
maniacmaniac19 (president pro temp of the manic fanclub)..
persistent spam.
r.p. mcmurphy..
scept..
shawn gthorndahl. .
shawn spencestarr..
shawn white, .
dr. shawn womack. .
shawnaise. .
shawnito rodriguez. .
sheriff spencer. .
soup can sam..
t-bone turner. .
white privilege. .
winston zedmoore.

journeys into alternate universes

avenger adjacent
(self proclaimed)

marvel

shawn spencer, psychic detective.. in an ordinary world he’s seen as a fraud, a nuisance, merely a fan of delicious flavor. take out the ordinary, substitute it for the extraordinary and suddenly? he’s appreciated for his gift....sure, he’s still labeled a nuisance for his regular pestering of heroes everywhere, but at least he’s not labeled a fraud.

martial arts master
(even more self proclaimed)

cobra kai

the burden is on you, honorable sleuth, to make sure your crime pitch is (A) accurate and (B) delivered in a gripping, confounding, compelling,. and utterly mind-blowing manner.

CRIME SCENES.

of the canon variety

the murder capital of the world

season one through season eight

an exploration into the exploits of a man, a singular man with incredible hair, caught up in a lie that was merely meant to keep him out of jail. a man, unlike any other, with an incredible psychic gift... or so he claimed. the only way his lie could be confirmed was if he told the truth, and he had no plan to do that. the adventure that followed included a detective agency, love, loss, hijinks, plenty of pineapple, and eventually? a move from the city where the man had found his way... a move where love carried him to the foreign land... of san francisco.

psychphransico

psych the movie

mere minutes into his arrival in san francisco, in the middle of his proposal to the woman of his dreams, shawn spencer was robbed. the thief stole his grandmother's ring right from his hand. it was (if you ask him) highly traumatic, and now... ten years later... the same ring is obsessively sought after. included for one low, low price? a new detective agency with a gremlins motif, more pineapple than ever, insistence that his girlfriend fiancée would never do a hallmark movie, a showdown with an incredible gentleman ninja, the return of an old foe, and does he finally marry the woman he loves? ...yes, yes he does.

verse name tbd

psych two: lassie come home

coming soon.

solving crimes from a bush

psych three: this is gus

coming soon.